Erectile Dysfunction Work

Since I'm usually known for my love and other work, but not so much my baneful, here is some baneful work for you 😈 So, you want to make a man's penis limp? Here's some work for you: Take a picture of the man in question (or a dick pic because that's better) and print it out on a piece of paper. Take that piece of paper, and some dirt. Doesn't matter where you got the dirt, but take the dirt, mix it with salt (salt will make the dirt never produce anything meaningful again) and some alum (alum dries up and shrinks everything it touches.) Take this dirt mixed with spices and his picture, and put it in a jar. Add a petition with the man's name and "erectile dysfunction" written over it. This is very similar to a sour jar, but it's an erectile dysfunction jar. Now, if you plan on keeping this man's penis from ever working again, bury it in a cemetery (after paying the guardians of the cemetery their offering to keep it safe and undisturbed) or bury it somewhere dry that doesn't get water often. Now, if you want to eventually allow this man the ability to use his penis again, you will want to bury it near your front porch, or leave it at the base of a tree near your home. If you cannot do any of this, buy a flower pot, fill it with sand, and let it sit for as long as you need it to. You could even forego the jar and simply keep this man and his penis completely dry in the sand forever.